Monday, January 31, 2011

..insperation comes easily for me

theres many times when the boys are pushing me to the edge, where i feel like crying. Then i see there smiles or hear there laughs or i get the "i love you mom" & or troys lil kisses. Makes life seem so much easier makes the hard times not so hard.,
As many of you know my nephew Royce is very sick, He has a diaseas Known as Cystic Fibrosis which at the end of this blog itll explain what that is.,
Anyways, Hes really sick right hes been admitted to childrens hospital && I hate that i am here right now, i would give anything to be there with him and my sister. Royce is Not someone who you see as a sick child, if you were to see him and not know he had this disease you would Never put two and two togother., He is an amazing child, I know many times we turned his bedroom into the park or the zoo or Even Space, His imagination is out of this world. He is truly my insperation. He makes my heart melt He is always smiling even when he doesnt feel Good.
His mom, my sister. Is so strong and such an amamzing person., she is one of the best ppl i have in my life. She will give you the shirt of her back She makes is smiling when shes weak, she is a hero to me i cant even begin to explain how proud i am, and how i look up to her as a mother && a sister.

so when you feel like your day has been tough, or whatever it may be. lets think about how blessed we are., I am so proud of my Nephew for being so strong at such a young age when he is allowed to be upset and weak he is smiling and being an insperation to many.






What is cystic fibrosis?
Cystic fibrosis (CF) is a genetic disease. It affects the way in which salt and water move in and out of the body’s cells. In cystic fibrosis patients, thick mucus causes blockages of small tubes and ducts in the body. This mostly affects the lungs and the digestive system. When someone has cystic fibrosis, chloride (part of what makes up salt) cannot pass through the cells normally. And more sodium (the other part of salt) may be pumped through the cells than usual—at least in the lungs. Both of these problems may cause lung mucus and fluid to be thicker and stickier than normal and sweat to be saltier than normal.

What causes cystic fibrosis?
Cystic fibrosis is present from birth, yet signs may not show up for weeks, months, or years afterward. Everyone has 2 genes when they are born that determine whether or not they have cystic fibrosis. Both of these genes need to be abnormal for someone to have cystic fibrosis. The only way to get cystic fibrosis is to inherit 1 cystic fibrosis gene from each parent. Typically, each parent of a cystic fibrosis patient has only 1 cystic fibrosis gene and does not have cystic fibrosis.

What does cystic fibrosis do to the lungs?
People with cystic fibrosis have airway secretions that are drier, stickier, and harder to clear than normal secretions. This thick mucus can block the bronchial tubes in the lungs, and can lead to gradual blockage, infection, and lung damage.
this is the new tattoo i got for my Royce:)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

....dont feel sorry for me!

I hear all the time " i feel so sorry for you, it must be hard being an army wife, i could never do it, i could never be away from my husband for that long"...


please give me a break dont feel sorry for me, i am a strong girl i dont feel sorry for my self or my family. we have rough times just like any other type of family out there. I am Proud of my husband he isnt gone doing nothing hes fighting for our country for his family for everyones family. So please do me a favor next time you think about saying those words to me just dont. I am in love with a solder he is amoung the bravest and they all have strong proud military wives standing behind them. Do not feel sorry for us. Ugh ;/ sry i just hate it., when my husband signed the papers to join the army i knew at some point he would deploy and yes it sux realllly bad and i miss him more than i could ever possibly begin to explain, but im not asking for anyone to feel sry for me its smthing i cant help but feel but we are strong. I am so beyond proud of my husband and all the other soldiers out there and there families!!



Wednesday, January 26, 2011

almost 2 months!!

Im not a great blogger and you might think of the time i have at nite i would be able to blog more but i just find my self drownding my self in music at nite i love music that plays so perfect to how i am feeling that nite. frustrated annoyed happy or sad its amazing. keeps me up all nite though so prolly not a good idea. I have been letting ppl in my life latley like old friends and new ones then they let me down. I hate letting ppl like that in my life not only are you effecting me but your effecting my kids., they get attached to ppl its so hard to tell them that there not around anymore. So time to weed out the ppl who only want me around when its good for them i have plenty of amazing ppl in my life i dont need others in it:) No more nice girl! -said my peace. On a good note ive kicked 2 months of this deployments ass so ready to have  my soldier home with me and the boys. i miss him like insanley. He is an amamzing man and father im pretty sure i dont deserve him. Ive been told so much since weve been togother how lucky i am to have him and i really am! No other man will ever amount to him!! his love towards me is so much like a fairy tale i am his princess and he treats me better than i ever deserve! I love him with my whole heart!

Friday, January 14, 2011

..,Like realllly?!

In my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
just to see what id be like





I am so sick of people tryin to bring others down its not as if we dont have enough shit on our plates. Since when did ppl thrive on bringing others down. If its not your life or your problems then Shhhsh! what You think is a problem may not be to other ppl or maybe a solved problem that doesnt need to be brought up again! This deployment has been really rough for me im dealing with things ive never thought id go through im seeing sides of ppl i didnt wanna see for that matter im seeing the same thing in my self . Every day is a learning experince learning how to deal with lonliness and not sleeping bc your afraid to close your eyes bc of the boogie-man!? yes i said it im afraid of him or her im not sure. anywhos why dont we let ppl deal with there lifes in there own way and step back and either be there or dont wont hurt my feelings i dont need ppl who are going to judge me or for that matter fake ppl!? I am bitchy and obnoxuis and honest and have my "blonde" moments i also am insecure and sometimes i really to good at putting on a smile. So therefore take it or leave it just please dont try to bring me down or do harm in my life bc its not gonna work! (peace)






Sunday, January 9, 2011

‎" i listen to his heart beat bc it plays my favorite song"


40 days down only 325 to go! cant belive its been 40 days already thats crazy i love you


What I'd give
What I'd do
Knowing I'm not there for you
Makes it so hard to leave
What I'd give
What I'd do
Anything to get me home to you
And this time I'll stay

And you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and
It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me


late nites

i miss you so much its hard to breathe
I lay here and toss and turn wishing you were next to me. I knew being an army wife would be hard. but the lonliness i feel is unlike anything else ive felt. You are my best friend and my lover. I am proud to be your wife. i cant belive we have 2 babys and ther beautiful and amamzing. You are my everything. i wish you werent 8000 miles away. I cant imagine me with out you!? so therefore i am telling you I miss you. I miss you so much!! i want you to know i miss you i want you to know i love you. I want you to know i am counting down the days til you come home so i can be in your arms and laughing with you and watching dumb movies and just falling asleep in your arms. Blah call me silly call me lame maybe even gag a lil BUT thats ok:) I miss your smile i miss the your silliness ( if thats word) I love you!! Goood nite

Thursday, January 6, 2011

i dont give a damn


ambien Nite- So before i go on and on about stupid stuff that makes no sense to any. I had a good day at the beach.. I miss my husband more than anything out there..and just so you know this (bradley williams) this girl adores you!-so please pass no judgment On anything! I AM an army wife ppl are going to pass judgment on me while hes away and thats ok but keep On moving on bc i am passing the bumps and going on and moving forward getting readt to see this deployment go on and be over bc i adore a man whos sitting 8.000 Miles away...so when im his arms Ugh F* the haters:) woord that was my gansta writting. I have some amamzing friends here and i love to pieces. There judge free ppl so i think....hate me.love me. dont care? welll me neither!!! i love my HUSBAND yay me!!!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

what goes up must come down but dont let me fall

(this was taken a couple days ago)

I miss you so much that it hurts ., i feel alone i catch myself missing you over nothing. I see things that remind me of you everyday. its nearly impossible not to think of you. I thought i would kick this deployments ass with no problem and look back and laugh maybe its because i havent got into the swings of things 100% or maybe its because until your home im not complete. i think its a mixutre. This lifestyle isnt for the weak., although i know im not exaclty Strong BUT however i love  my soldier. I miss him Everyday. I would walk to the end of the world for him. He is amamzing so 11 months from now i will for get that i ever missed him bc i will wrapped in his arms. i cant wait for that moment. && when that moments happens ill be the happiest girl alive. I love my husband more than i could every truly express you can call me corny and thats ok with me bc i am. i am madly in love.

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